Don't use your phone while you poop

(nate.spot)

106 points | by ExMachina73 1 hour ago

33 comments

  • huhtenberg 55 minutes ago
    Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.

    I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that.

    Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

    • Fnoord 5 minutes ago
      I used to take my laptop or Nokia N810 (remote shell over Wi-Fi with physical keyboard) with me to the bathroom. Nowadays there's cyberdecks, e-readers, ...

      Just to reiterate: book good, e-reader bad. Phone good, smartphone bad. Scanning through a physical magazine good, doomscrolling TikTok bad.

      Except it is about focused vs. diffuse mode of brain, and usually people underappreciate the latter. E.g. walking during a lunch break, thereby getting inspiration for work, is working. The same can be true for taking a shower, sporting, staring outside at the landscape or stars, or meditating. It will also empower your focused mode later on. And, the author's point seems to be a toilet break is a decent opportunity for this. I agree. On my previous job, I regularly sat for 10-15 min in late morning, and it inspired me. But you cannot force people to not take a device with them to toilet. I mean, unless you're working for NSA or something. Don't judge such, look at total performance / efficiency per hour instead. Or per USD spend on the employee.

      As a former smoker, this is also what I appreciated about having a fag (in a time before smartphone and vape were common). Some missed the socializing. I hated that part. It seemed to br more like FOMO on gossip.

    • nerevarthelame 3 minutes ago
      My family had dedicated bathroom reading that sat on the top of every toilet cistern. Usually something like a Far Side comic collection or an "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader."
    • bonsai_spool 29 minutes ago
      > Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.

      Wow, I forgot that I used to do this! And I'd puzzle over whether any ozone was left with all the CFCs being emitted.

      But yes, the OP is very edgy take that totally ignores the existence of book/magazine baskets next to toilets. It's a huge plot point in Breaking Bad, for example.

      https://youtu.be/cXgg607wuis?t=35 (Breaking Bad 'Hank Figures it Out')

      • nwatson 6 minutes ago
        I've searched out this clip various times, gonna watch it again. Easily one of the best movie / TV moments since the advent of film.
    • epihelix 23 minutes ago
      Personally, I just took a book in with me. (I thought everyone did, but apparently not.)

      Many share houses, when I was a student, put the film calendar for the local art house cinema on the back of the toilet door. It was the accepted place for it.

      Reading on the pot is a time-honoured tradition.

      • duxup 17 minutes ago
        The Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri manual was a personal favorite of mine.
        • embedding-shape 5 minutes ago
          Heh yeah, as a kid/young adult I also stored all my strategy game manuals in the bathroom, back when they used to contain actual information and helpful stuff.
      • recursivegirth 17 minutes ago
        My grammy had a curated bathroom library. Usually those "1000 Odd Facts" type of books that you could pickup and flip through.
    • vishnugupta 1 minute ago
      I used to take news papers and magazines and sometimes still do. So yes it’s perfectly fine.
    • hdgvhicv 5 minutes ago
      Stack of old magazines - readers digest etc
    • tartoran 41 minutes ago
      That is a real phenomena for a chunk of the population but I'm trying to understand what it is. Is it ADHD?
      • saghm 26 minutes ago
        It might also have to do with how long someone tends to take. I tend to have a pretty slow metabolism and only need to defecate a couple times a week (to preempt any armchair diagnoses from people who think this is weirdly infrequent, every doctor I've had has always said this isn't a huge deal), so when I do, it tends to be in larger amounts. I've also found that it's better for me to take it slow and not strain as much, so sometimes I end up being on the toilet for more than just a couple minutes, which means that having something to do is nice.

        That said, I do also have ADHD, so maybe people who are "longer and slower" toiler-sitters like me without ADHD might be fine without a distraction.

        • bitmasher9 18 minutes ago
          The healthy range of frequency is roughly 3/day-0.3/day.
    • mrweasel 49 minutes ago
      We learned Finish from the back of shampoo bottles.
    • xeon06 15 minutes ago
    • unsupp0rted 19 minutes ago
      Don’t forget the SEARS catalogue
      • WhyComboNadir 14 minutes ago
        Or National Geographic if you got sick of the Sears bra section
    • retired 24 minutes ago
      The Dutch have a birthday calendar in the toilet room. And you can use the inspection shelf of the toilet to check for problems in your diet. Plenty of activities to do!
    • thenthenthen 52 minutes ago
      I totally still do this! The random nonsense and just lists of ingredients make me relaxed.
    • otikik 39 minutes ago
      I read about ancient greek mithology
  • Retr0id 1 hour ago
    If pooping is the only time you spend away from your phone, you're not spending enough time away from your phone.
    • safety1st 10 minutes ago
      Right. I actually do the inverse of the OP's advice. As much as possible, pooping is the ONLY time I use the phone.

      If the only time you budget for mindfulness is a couple minutes on the toilet, you're doing it wrong.

      • embedding-shape 4 minutes ago
        Same, on the golden throne is where 98% of my phone time is being spent, the other 2% is having to hold up the phone towards my hear to do that annoying "talk to another human being" thing. Otherwise during a normal day I barely touch my phone.
    • otikik 46 minutes ago
      You underestimate the amount of time I spend pooping.
      • smitty1e 41 minutes ago
        I'm so full that I may have to run for public office.
    • echelon 51 minutes ago
      The reason we have declining birth rates is phones.

      It's not the economy. People have overwhelmingly been historically poor. Our ancestors ate rotting and festering meat and they had plenty of kids. Your great great grandparents went through some shit. HN community demographics are the exception to the rule.

      The problem is every man and woman is sucked into a phone. They're never bored. There's no need to plan for long term fulfillment in another person. Always just more dopamine. Settling down isn't good because we're trained on short form gratification loops.

      The spy devices enforce conformance too. Nobody takes risks and parties. Looking foolish will be shared and shamed. People get sucked into these closed off hyper critical portals where everyone sees a highlight reel, questions themselves, and adapts to the performance culture status quo.

      This is worse than either Brave New World or 1984.

      It's an almost fitting handoff that our species goes into decline as the robots begin to take over. Our species can't be just scaffolding right? We're kind of doing our best to prove that we are.

      • AyyEye 7 minutes ago
        "The sad fact is, human civilization did not even break for lunch when humankind died out."

        "Interstellar colonization is easy! You just need to devote a visible percentage of the resources of an entire interplanetary civilization to it for several hundred years, placing it in the tireless and efficient hands of robots ordered to strive for the goal for as long as it takes. Perhaps the real story behind our Creators’ extinction isn’t some dismal concoction of demographic undershoot, decadence, distraction by sexual hyperstimuli, and a little bit of malice on the side; but rather, they decided they might as well take a nap while the boring business of galactic conquest unfolded on their behalf—secure in the knowledge that the robots would resurrect them in time to benefit from the enterprise."

        -Charles Stross (Saturn's Children)

      • KerryJones 48 minutes ago
        Ive read quite a bit, including one of my favorite articles, "It's probably the phones": https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/honestly-its-probably-the-phon...

        But then you kind of dove into the deepend there. Spy devices, 1984, etc. I think a more tempered approach is useful here

      • alansaber 37 minutes ago
        Trained on short form gratification loops? Just the opposite. They're the path of least resistance. It was thermodynamically inevitable that short form content would dominate.
      • hnhg 40 minutes ago
        Your great great grandparents didn't effectively get fined for having each child. It was quite the opposite.

        You make some really good points, but I feel they are a result of a greed-pilled, mean-spirited and individualistic-to-the-point-of-self-harm culture we're all sadly living under rather than the underlying cause.

      • Henchman21 33 minutes ago
        Right it has nothing to do with pollution or endocrine-disrupting chemicals in the environment. Yeah its definitely phones.
        • colechristensen 16 minutes ago
          It's really not. Nor is it phones.

          Real estate is too expensive and rent is too high and people don't want to raise a family in a tiny apartment where both people have to work long hours. Combined with the fear TV sold to people such that they have to hover over their children 24/7 for most of their lives.

      • Noaidi 15 minutes ago
        [dead]
  • brtkwr 1 hour ago
    Who read this while in the act?
    • haraldooo 58 minutes ago
      Most upvoted comment in a long time. Probably.
    • isoprophlex 47 minutes ago
      Does taking a piss count?
      • tartoran 37 minutes ago
        Only if you're sitting down and lingering for 10 minutes...
    • tt_dev 58 minutes ago
      you called me out
  • 01100011 43 minutes ago
    Pooping is interesting. Having a toddler reminded me how pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans. I think a lot of us use books/phones/etc to distract ourselves from a sensorily intense activity. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just noting it.

    I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet.

    • conmod278 27 minutes ago
      > pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans

      GRRM chose that vulnerable moment to kill off a character.

    • brtkwr 35 minutes ago
      Yes, the only other closest parallel is maybe giving birth without reducing the intensity of an experience of child birth…
    • retired 17 minutes ago
      I remember Nintendo doing a commercial about that!
  • anthropodie 7 minutes ago
    > there's probably microscopic fecal particles on every surface in there. And there's no way your phone is making it out unscathed.

    Precisely the reason I stopped using phone in the toilet.

  • tehologist 6 minutes ago
    WTF, growing up I read and always kept a book or magazine in the restroom. I fail to see the difference.
  • Waterluvian 1 hour ago
    But there aren’t enough shampoo bottles to read.
    • jareklupinski 25 minutes ago
      that explains Dr Bronner's branding
    • maguay 34 minutes ago
      There are dozens of us!
    • jhfdbkofdchk 56 minutes ago
      Yes yes I know this contains sodium laureth sulfate what else have you got?
      • david-gpu 55 minutes ago
        Aqua and sodium chloride. Because saying water and salt doesn't sound posh enough, somehow.
        • pasc1878 32 minutes ago
          No it is diversity.

          The ingredients have to be understandable by non English speakers – so water is out.

          As for salt which one?

      • zerr 34 minutes ago
        Cocamidopropyl betaine is a must for me.
  • andsoitis 1 hour ago
    Not just your phone. Don't read books or magazines or do other things.

    Get in, take your dump, be done in max 6mins, get up. Don't strain.

    • b3ing 45 minutes ago
      6 mins? Maybe with a squatty potty and if I'm lucky. Otherwise it's almost always 15-25min for me, not sure why, it just takes time.
      • tripleee 35 minutes ago
        you need more fiber and/or water
    • bryanrasmussen 1 hour ago
      > be done in max 6mins

      this has a very "tell me you haven't had kids yet without telling me" energy to it, in opinion at least.

      • andsoitis 1 hour ago
        You want to train kids from a young age not to spend a long time on the toilet, which reading encourages. It consistently leads to hemorrhoids. That's just a fact.
        • bonsai_spool 27 minutes ago
          > You want to train kids from a young age not to spend a long time on the toilet, which reading encourages. It consistently leads to hemorrhoids. That's just a fact.

          Whoa, you can preach whatever you'd like, but let's not start inventing 'facts' to put down others.

          I don't see 'time sitting on the stool' in our list of hemorrhoid risk factors. If, instead, you mean time straining at the stool, then yes: but the straining begets the reading activities, not the other way around.

          https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8416428/

        • stanleykm 1 hour ago
          i think they meant they are purposely sandbagging while on the toilet to get some alone time
          • andsoitis 49 minutes ago
            then it is even worse than I feared! they are both worsening or increasing their own chances of hemorrhoids AND role modeling for their kids that spending a long time on the toilet is OK.
      • sodapopcan 48 minutes ago
        Or, "tell me your family is bearable to be around without telling me."
    • lewiscollard 59 minutes ago
      Right! If you spend enough time in there to be reading you didn't actually need a shit.
  • ozten 1 hour ago
    From an evolutionary perspective, this is a super vulnerable moment and are in a state of hyper vigilance.
    • 01100011 40 minutes ago
      Yeah, exactly this. Once you have a toddler you realize there is an inherent desire to be alone while pooping. There is a sort of shame about this. Always Sunny made a joke about this: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TFqzjdk5XPs
    • jjgreen 45 minutes ago
      Odd that sloths spend their life in the trees except when they climb down to have a crap.
    • InsideOutSanta 57 minutes ago
      TIL that in the past, I definitely would have died while pooping.
    • aeve890 58 minutes ago
      Eridians have figured out the solution for vulnerable moments: I watch, you shit.
      • sodapopcan 49 minutes ago
        Dogs also figured this out, and it goes both ways. This is why they stare at you when they're going, especially when they're puppies.
  • pmarreck 58 minutes ago
    There's also showering. (But I've taken to playing music in the shower with a waterproof boombox. Bluetooth'd from my phone, of course.)

    And of course, sleeping. ;)

    But there is something to this. Intuitive ideas come to you in the quiet moments.

  • sethammons 1 hour ago
    Flip side: more sitting on the toilet ensures a more complete emptying and less rushing/straining.
    • al_borland 58 minutes ago
      Flip side: sitting too long on the toilet increases hemorrhoid risk. [0]

      Not having a distraction doesn’t mean a person needs to strain.

      [0] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12407481/

      • squidbeak 57 minutes ago
        Long-time toiletsitter, here. No haemorrhoids.
        • folkrav 55 minutes ago
          Some people don’t die from cancer after smoking their whole lives either.
          • squidbeak 41 minutes ago
            I can tell you're not going to like it if I light up next time I sit down to it.
    • iterateoften 1 hour ago
      ? What? A healthy colon and diet usually do not need to strain or rush. Just sit and poop. like 1min tops.
      • delichon 49 minutes ago
        What is this "1min" unit? Can you convert to YouTube shorts?
      • squidbeak 1 hour ago
        You need to get that dysentery tended to.
        • iterateoften 56 minutes ago
          ? Sorry? A healthy colon and diet it’s not liquid or messy. A nice type 4 normal solid log that slides on out.

          I’m very scared for most people I see online discussing BMs. People have some seriously twisted up guts and diets.

        • wizzwizz4 55 minutes ago
          Everyone's gut is different, but one minute isn't unreasonably short, especially if you have something like a bidet for fast cleaning afterwards. Are you sure you're not constipated?
          • squidbeak 53 minutes ago
            I'm fine, enjoying my book.
  • veidelis 48 minutes ago
    I don't believe in planning when to stare at the wall. I just do it when I feel like it - whenever - sometimes family members are around. Be reasonably spontaneous - you'll calibrate on you're own. Don't be afraid. Breathe, baby!
  • jrflo 18 minutes ago
    This is the thing I've become increasingly radicalized about. I built an app (link below if you're curious, it's $5 [1]) to cure my particular brand of phone addiction.

    I've been using my phone for probably ~1hr per day for the last 6 months and I've realized how many ills of our society today can be traced back to phones and social media. Political polarization, misinformation, mental illness, the loneliness epidemic, brain-rot - we'd be in a very different place if we could moderate our use of this technology more.

    The thing I've come to realize is that when I look at my phone it's so boring now, and that's how it should be.

    [1]: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/scrolless-feed-blocker/id67588...

  • VCFundedGenYer 13 minutes ago
    This article has clearly forgotten the past.

    People would read magazines, newspapers, nearby bottles of things, etc.

    The phone part is irrelevant.

    • anonymars 6 minutes ago
      Ah, yes, the engagement-maximizing shampoo bottle ingredient list
  • joemazerino 6 minutes ago
    Bathroom readers are a staple here.
  • trencedamp 47 minutes ago
    If you want a third reason, sitting too long gives you piles
    • Deebster 33 minutes ago
      That's the third reason given in the article (hemorrhoids == piles).
  • wxw 13 minutes ago
    How else will I read HN?
  • spottedmarley 1 hour ago
    But then how would I take the photo I need to feed my AI-powered fecal analysis agent?
  • reactordev 55 minutes ago
    On the other hand, it's the only time I have a few minutes to actually check my phone...
  • Cider9986 27 minutes ago
    Also raise your feet.
  • hacker_88 59 minutes ago
    Meanwhile Greeks .. "what's up buddy"
  • cesnja 1 hour ago
    If you have time to read on the toilet, then (barring any disease or other disfunction) you’re not getting enough fiber.
    • squidbeak 59 minutes ago
      It's one of the most tranquil parts of the day, and a time out from busier things. What's the rush?
  • bellowsgulch 1 hour ago
    Literally read this on the toilet. Thanks!
  • Shaanveer 1 hour ago
    what if i end up daydreamin?
    • nehal3m 1 hour ago
      God forbid a thought might form!
  • maipen 36 minutes ago
    The bathroom is the modern day phone booth. Its the perfect place to read hacker news’s first page.
  • lacoolj 59 minutes ago
    Obvious, and yet will be ignored

    Also, it's nasty. Check out how dirty your phone already is, then add fecal matter to that (you really think when you poop it just lands neatly in the bowl and nothing goes into the air?)

    • pbhjpbhj 44 minutes ago
      Surely whatever is aerosolised gets over your body and clothing too - so your phone would be less dirty than the rest of you, except the parts you washed with soap.

      Would be interesting to see a study on this, not my instinct is mobile phone use whilst sitting on the toilet doesn't increase germ exposure in any measurable way.

    • squidbeak 44 minutes ago
      Is it really possible that yours splatters as much as that? Couldn't you wear a polythene kilt?
  • jdw64 1 hour ago
    Sitting on the toilet reading this post gives it a whole different feel.
  • jhfdbkofdchk 57 minutes ago
    "Oh! I'm so sorry I must have missed it when you got your PhD in defecation."
  • comrade1234 1 hour ago
    ...but then when will I do my Duolingo?
  • chasing 1 hour ago
    I have an AI agent that poops for me and just reports the results.
  • throw93940r00 53 minutes ago
    This must be GenX version of boomers "you are poor because you buy coffees". I need my phone for work, not because of some addictive distraction.

    I do not do meditative "quiet reflection" on shitty toilet, I have nice space for that!

    • anonymars 2 minutes ago
      Using your phone to do work even in the bathroom is a strange brag
  • overtone1000 31 minutes ago
    lol, great closing line
  • FunnyLookinHat 26 minutes ago
    "You need to be bored" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orQKfIXMiA8

    This is harder than ever - I've always got the urge (no pun intended to the original post) to start a new worktree, keep the agents unblocked, or write down a new idea.

    I've started going on silent drives to help - 2 lane roads for an hour or so, just staring ahead and thinking about nothing and everything. I'll reward myself with a podcast on the way back from wherever my "could be anywhere" destination is.